Did you ever think of laughter or tears as empowering? This was a discovery I made enabling me to appreciate them so much more.
Only recently, did I become aware of how many different laughs I have and all with different messages. It was then logical to presume how my tears must also speak their own language, sharing the common denominator as part of our emotions. Their dialect is from an emotional language as a physical reaction, a punctuation, to comments or thoughts requiring a special emphasis. Since this discovery, I have been trying to decode this language. A project that makes the encryption of the Rosetta Stone seem like child’s play.
Laughter is associated with humor and fun. Let me breakdown some of my styles of laughter because, just like our thoughts and “internal” emotions, they are unique to each of us with some similarities. Here are a few basic laughs that I recognize:
This is when somebody says something witty, followed by a quiet pause, until the moment I let out one sharp and high-pitched laugh because it found its mark on my intelligence.
Similar to the afterthought, but sounding more obnoxious, the guffaw laugh is a bellowing laugh best described as loud, deep, and unexpected. It is not meant to be obnoxious, it is simply impulsive; I am not aware that it is coming to life until it has escaped out of my mouth.
When something amusing happens and somebody laughs uncontrollably, the humor becomes more obvious. It could be when I recognize another person’s punctuation (reaction), it makes something mildly amusing seem funnier and making it impossible not to join in their laughter.
Here is where I say something seemingly innocent, with a slight edge, spoken only between me and “him” before letting out an inviting and gentle laugh. I will admit there is usually a flip of the hair or a tilted head movement involved. I also make sure not to guffaw or snort during this engagement.
Feeling so happy that a series of under-my-breath giggles cannot be contained because everything makes me feel great. I want to believe that nobody can find these annoying because they are sounds of pure joy.
This is my favorite. When something is so funny and becomes funnier simply because the laughter is rolling out of me from a deep place within me. It can become almost uncontrollable where I lose my breath and have to beg for mercy to stop me from continuing laughing.
The other messages from emotions are through my tears. Tears were once connected to sadness or pain when I was a baby. Since then, I have developed different sets of tears that extend to frustration, anger, and fear. The trouble with tears are that they seem to show up when nobody is around to see them, and I may not be able to interpret them correctly when I am alone. My breakdown is as follows:
These big and silent tears spring to life when I feel sympathy for somebody with a loss or a fear so large that I cannot imagine the pain of another nor want anybody to experience. These tears are so pure and true that my body has to release the pain so I can find a physical peace while working through my thoughts.
They show up when I am struggling for the words and finding no patience allowing me to share with somebody else clear thoughts to get a point across. It might be a sign for me to slow down and walk away, perhaps because I need a break from the thought or words I am about to say. I might not like those tears but respect that they are warning signs to me to calm down somehow.
Tears of fear are ‘old’ worries and anxieties about a pain I experienced in my past and sneaking up in today’s life, or in the future. To me, very pointless tears to have. There are no emotions from the future that can come to me today, therefore past pain should not be coming forward to me today either. Fearful tears never want an audience and can be found in my pillow which also muffled the noises that came with it. These tears are phantom and not real.
Tears that come from an awkward or uncomfortable feeling about something I did or something I heard somebody else say about me remind me that I am taking life to serious. When I feel this burning in my throat or feel a tingle in my nose, I am being told that something I am “taking in” to my body needs attention. This can be “taking out” of my body with a glass of water. Water is an amazing tear minimizer.
Did you expect to see joy in laughter and also in tears? Absolutely. These are the only tears that are worth having. How great to be so happy that a joyous sound is not enough, my body has to add a physical reaction that nobody can deny as something simply amazing.
Having shared the different ways I laugh and cry with some descriptions and some understandings, I am still stumped as to how easy I can misread what I’m aware of and how people around me can also miss such obvious clues. It could be that laughter is always good, just much better when shared with others. While tears are never good alone and should only be shared in the company of others. Tears are the emotions that others may not feel, but seeing them on somebody else should help us to be available to offer support to an obvious “cry for help.”
Learn to recognize, not only your language of laughter and tears, but to be aware of those around you. This is one language that is universal and can be appreciated and recognized by all. Keep the laughter coming because that is the best way to remove the tears from our lives, unless of course, they are tears of joy. Joy through laughter, joy through tears, is the only language I want to speak.