Trapped Between Time and Space

When I had been busy raising my son, taking care of a home, working full-time, and keeping myself busy during quieter times, I had accomplished so much with my days.  How is it that without any of those responsibilities, I find myself unable to accomplish half the things I did back then?  This question had plagued me until I was able to figure out what the change was causing me to be less productive by looking back at my past experiences.

When I was younger, I had my parents and teachers supervising my time and directing me on the next steps to complete a project, home or school, before a certain time or day. For more than 25 years in the working world, I had developed work habits, as well as managed multiply deadlines, keeping me on track to reach goals and deadlines.  Somewhere between then and now, I found myself on my own.  With nobody to help me to balance my family and work responsibilities or have any goals or deadlines, I was left standing, in what felt to me to be a void between space and time asking myself what do I do next?

This void seemed to be more like a tornado, with me standing still in the middle, watching life spin out of control.  There was nothing I could do but watch as everything I was familiar with had been ripped away from me, leaving me unable to do anything but wait for the twister to slow down to let me step out of it.

Why would I, a person who had been so busy with so many responsibilities, be unable to balance my life with having more time available?   I refused to believe that too much time could be negative.

What I discovered was that when I am busy, I am a better me.  Knowing this, I was able to add new routines in my daily life which also included some still needed “me” time. This brought harmony into my life because I was able to balance the areas that were most important to me.

If desired, we all have time which can be divided and redirected to balance the different needs in our lives. This is when we can choose to spend time on the computer or play with our children.  We can decide to work overtime for extra spending money or have less time at work and more time enjoying time with friends and family.  Whatever we use our time for, as long as we are happy and able to enjoy what we are doing, we can find ways to be even happier.

For me, the spinning had finally stopped, allowing me to step back into a time that works well for me.  By adding more routines in my life, I can now enjoy my busier times as well as have fun with whatever free time is available.  If you are now, how I was then, find comfort when I say, “It will be fine.”  The crazy whirlwind circling you, will slow down, and you too can step out and into a world that is once again perfect for you.



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