The Healing Element of Time

Many of our life lessons that had the greatest effect on us took place in the past but can be remembered as if it had only been yesterday. The better lessons that we learned from and that brought us joy can be classified as treasured memories or happy experiences. Lessons interpreted from painful experiences can be classified as harmful thoughts. Memories and thoughts can create mental images which trigger today’s emotions. In simpler terms, good memories can create uplifting emotions; painful thoughts can create damaging emotions.

I share that from my own personal experiences there have been times in my life that I tried with all my heart to distract negative thoughts by consciously thinking of happy memories and being aware that whatever was haunting me was in my past. It is only when I realized that even though things happened in the past and were over, the emotions were still within me and were dormant. Those harmful thoughts seemed to be anchored to my heart and ready to leap out when I least expected it. My saving grace came when I became aware that I could release the negative thoughts and remove the emotional pain by allowing time to do its special thing. Just like driving a car, we require time to move from one place to another. Time is the vehicle when moving from pain to peace. Time offers us comfort. Time can replace negative emotions with uplifting ones. It is time that will bring us new and happier experiences. Always remember that time is a very precious friend and is there when you need it.

Time offers us a way to allow the past to fade away through reflective moments. A moment is a very short space in time. Imagine the speed of a moment that lasts as fast as a blink of an eye. How many times have we focused on one thing and then blinked only to focus on something else? Allow time that same opportunity to capitalize on the speed of a moment when it comes to the unwanted thoughts.

To enjoy life today, or to live in the now as many will say, is your choice. Take as much time as you want when remembering happy experiences and hopeful wants because they will elevate your emotions to a great place. Allow time only a moment of reflection when uncomfortable emotions bring a fleeting thought to the surface. Your emotions are letting you know that something might need to be addressed at that moment. As that moment of uncertainty passes, blink your eyes a couple times, even take a breath, as you bring yourself back to the present time knowing that today is a good day.

Through the Eyes of Love

One of the most beautiful sights that exists today is one of newborn babies.  Babies represent the true definition of love and beauty. There is a purity about a new life that was created through intimacy and brought into the world with hope, trust, and love as the foundation of their emotions. This is because that is how babies see others as they enter this world. We are the lucky ones to be reminded that we too came into this world possessing the very same foundation of emotions and loving eyes.

Something that we also can remember is how conventional beauty, as dictated by the media or common thought, is not defining true beauty. I speak from experience. You see, this baby girl, now sitting at this keyboard years later, was born two weeks premature and weighing in over 10 pounds with a  messy head of hair and crossed eyes. Do you believe that everybody that saw me thought I was beautiful?  They did, and all fell in love with this little cherub.   That little baby in the incubator next to mine, also premature, was born with no hair, underweight, and jaundice, was equal in beauty.  That is because people saw us with eyes of love. We were truly beautiful in this world.

The reason that I brought this image of beauty to mind is because this same beauty  is still in our lives. For today, look at yourself with eyes of love. Remove thoughts about your physical appearance, and think about the actions that you take which make you beautiful and also loving.  For example, did you take in a neighbor’s garbage can when you saw it rolling against the curb or leave it there? Did you give a homeless person a dollar or cross the street to avoid them? Did you call your mother or say “I’m busy. I’ll call her later”? Maybe you wouldn’t include these situations in a definition of beauty, but they are. What we do is who we are. As I told my son throughout his life, “Beauty is as beauty does. Ugly is as ugly does.” Never was I referring to looks. I was referring to the actions that we take that make us beautiful.

When you see life through eyes of love, you are able to recognize how beauty surrounds us. When you recognize that you are beautiful, you experience self-love.  Though we age and our physical appearance constantly changes, a new beauty emerges.  This is due to the many years of living that enables us to be more loving, more kind, more patient, and even more forgiving, as well as the ability to be less judgmental, less critical, and less conventional. Embrace the loving lessons that even a challenging life may have experienced, and see the beauty you are.

Please allow yourself to live a life with eyes of love. These are not new eyes but the eyes that you were born with that can see love, trust, and joy in everything. Throw away the eyeglasses that have covered these eyes, and know that each and every one of us is beautiful and perfect as-we-are today. We are beautiful examples of living masterpieces. I end today’s writing with these words…beauty is as beauty does because love is as love does.  Always remember that.

Choices

Every day we are faced with choices. As children, the choices we made were easy and were based on one simple fact that was which choice would be more fun for me? Did we want to play outside or play inside? Did we feel like watching Batman or Spiderman? Did we want a vanilla ice cream cone or chocolate? We made our choices quickly and easily. For those rare occasions when we needed some inner guidance, we could always depend on a great decision maker and turn to our Eeny-Meeny-Miny-Moe finger. Besides the speed and commitment to our choices, we never ever thought about the other thing that we did not choose. We had known, without a doubt, that we had made our best choice and expected only great results.

As time passed, we went from making confidant decisions to wavering with our decisions based on what other people thought. Over time, it was our peers, our parents, and the media that guided our choices. Fast forward to full-blown adulthood where choices may seem more complicated. We now have to factor in responsibilities that effect not only ourselves, but others. For those decisions, remember that a moral obligation is an important and helpful factor which can guide you to make the best decisions for all involved.

As adults, decisions are often influenced by recognizing the bad choices and no longer based on what would be good for us. We have adopted an elimination-approach as our inner guidance. Think about it. Isn’t that what we are doing when we go through the pro/con list in our heads? Did you think you were picking the pros? Look back and realize that most likely you made decisions based on whichever choice offered less cons.

Who wants to make decisions that way? Not me. I want to have choices with only great results. Join me as we reclaim our individual power by recognizing only great options. Here are some examples of win/win choices to help you redefine what good options look like:

• Buy a car, lease a car or do I even want a car?
• Enjoy going on a vacation or relax at home with no responsibilities on a stay-cation?
• Keep your current job and make it great or find another job with unlimited possibilities?
• Save money or spend money?
• Earn more money or save money?
• Movies with buttered popcorn or DVD at home with microwave popcorn?
• Exercise more or eat less?
• Eat more and exercise less?

You can only make a good choice when you can see all options as good. The best way to feel good about your choices is to think like a child which means enjoy your decision without second-guessing yourself.  By allowing moral obligation to factor in on your decisions, you will make the right decision.  And, my personal belief is that the biggest factor with making good choices is to listen to your inner voice.  This voice speaks to you through your emotions and will guide you to a happier life.  I ask you…is there any other choice?

The Midas Voice

During a recent conversation with friends, I had shared that I have what I call The Midas Voice. Amused, as one friend’s face lit up at that image, I reminded him that King Midas was not only able to make gold by touching everything, he was able to make gold by touching everything.  This statement might seem awkward, but it is accurate. Imagine how great it was for Midas to have the ability to turn a plastic cup into a golden chalice. Pretty, cool, huh? What about touching food? Or, as Midas learned the touch of hugging his beloved daughter? Not so cool now.

I have recognized this gift in myself and in others with the many things that we say out loud, or even to ourselves.  The Midas Voice takes an immediate effect on the matter at hand. This brings me back to a previous post where I shared that we can think without thinking.

The examples that I share will emphasize how often we use our magic touch without thinking.  While you read these, also recognize that these are statements from the past. That way going forward you are in control of this touch. Here goes…and know that the list could be endless.

  • My family doesn’t understand me.
  • I hate my job.
  • No matter what I do, I can’t lose weight.
  • I have no time for myself.
  • I’m going to be late.
  • I have a migraine.
  • I am so broke.
  • I am so tired.
  • Nobody cares anymore.

Those statements are not shining bright with golden rays of happiness or hold any value to them. And, yet, they have been touched by your words which solidified a belief that did not benefit you. The emotions that these statements have churned up created physical feelings that most likely kept you spinning in an unproductive and possibly, disheartened way.

The good news is that our touch is not permanent if you know how to yield it. Midas may not have been able to undo the damage, but we can. The important lesson for us to embrace is to recognize what could be a damaging statement and, as easily, reverse it. See the value that is created with the following statements that can “fix” how we spoke in the past.

  • I wish my family would understand me.
  • What I like about my job is….
  • I would love to find a way to lose weight that is easier than it has been in the past.
  • I would love to find time for myself.
  • Going forward, I am going to be on time.
  • How can I feel better?
  • I want to be able to save money.
  • I will sleep great tonight.
  • I care.

As a children, we used our voices to get what we wanted and were happy with the results.  As we grew up, something changed and our words became less focused on what we wanted.  Now that I have recognized the value of my voice,  I choose to say, “I want to use my voice in a way that brings me joy, hope, and love.” And, that my friends, is how to use the Midas Voice.


Thank you for a great first week! I will be back on Monday.
Until then and always remember…YOU are the power in your world!

Who is Sitting on Your Shoulder?

There was a time when people were told that they have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other as a way of explaining that you get to choose who to listen to. Thanks to the cartoons that I watched growing up, I had always pictured a playful version of this. On one side sat a sweet, little angel in white, and on the other side sat a mischievous little, red imp. This strange friendship was challenged because the angel often and calmly told the devil what not-to-do while the devil became belligerent at being told what to do.

As an adult, I recognize how hope and fear existed in my life. In this version of the angel vs. devil, I look back and see how fear had a louder presence in my life then hope did. You may recognize the next statement as a metaphor, but I share this as my literal perception of hope and fear.

Hope is the foundation to everything good. Fear is its opponent and can be experienced as tremors taking place under this foundation. How can you build on something that is constantly shifting beneath you? You can’t which is why that child image of the angel needs to come back in our lives and remind the imp what it cannot do which is…it cannot do what you do not want it to do.

There is a message that you will see throughout much of my writing which is that you are the power in your world. You are the captain of your ship. You are the brains behind your greatness. You are the thoughts that you choose. I hope you understand that these are different ways of saying that you get to make decisions that are going to give you what you want or what you choose.  Choose hope.

Hope can flick that little, bitty imp off of your shoulder because as you choose hope, hope grows. It becomes more powerful. As it strengthens, fear weakens. Make that your goal.

How do you choose hope? Ready for some repetition of this week’s writings? You recognize what you want. You stamp out fear, insecurities, vulnerabilities, anxieties, and worries by consciously choosing to STOP those words from existing in your words, thoughts, and emotions. Let me remind you that when hope appeared, fear stopped hovering on your shoulder and found a place in your head. Sometimes it hid in your heart or could be felt in your belly. Good news, is that when hope flicked it away, hope knew where hope was strongest and jumped into your thoughts, thereby improving your emotions and helping you to feel physically better.

The way for you to continue to keep hope powerful is the old 1-2-Punch that you can take with two simple statements which are:

1. I want to stop feeling  (negative feeling)  about (what you want)
2. I want to feel hopeful about  (what you want)

BAM! Knockout punch. Once again, hope is our champion!

By deflecting (or flicking!) negative thoughts, you replace them with hope. You are now living a hope filled life. Ahhh, sweet victory!

Stop, Drop, and Roll

Looking back at my childhood, there was one lesson that was drilled into our eager, little minds at the start of each school year. That was the valuable lesson on the STOP, DROP, AND ROLL campaign that the local fire department shared.  These simple words taught us what to do if clothing catches fire. The beauty of this saying is that the instructions are simple enough that a five-year-old can do it. In more recent years, another saying was taught to children under five which is LEARN NOT TO BURN. Both simple and great reminders for very serious lessons.

When did life lessons like this fade from our lives? Did growing up mean that simple statements lost their effect on us? It seemed that our lessons came with less rhymes and more words.  They often included emotional experiences that may have left scars or even open wounds in us as we walked away from those life lessons.

Not for me though, at least, not anymore. When I remembered that simple statements could say so much, I began creating my own go-to slogans. My mottos for how I want to live became campaigns, a series of statements that would help me to avoid pitfalls in life.

What I share with you now are not rhymes, songs, or even a play on words. They are simple statements that will stop me in my tracks, drop the drama from my life, and roll me in a direction that I want to go. I guess that is my version of stop, drop, and roll. Whatever you want to call it, this call-to-action is my way of helping me take control of my life. Some examples of my mottos are:

I want to feel better. This may not rhyme, but it delivers a strong and clear message by reminding me that I want to stop an emotion that might pull me down by shifting me towards a better emotional direction.

Help me. This one is to the point, and clearly states my intent. When we ask for help, even when we say it to ourselves, help becomes available. It is the awareness that you need help that triggers amazing results.

I am worth loving. This reminds me that I have a value. I deserve effort. I deserve attention. I deserve respect.

I matter. This helps me to remind myself that I exist. I have significance. I am important.

One of my favorite slogans that requires no further explanation and which I share with you every time that you open this website…

I am the power in my world.

Feel free to use my words, or find your own campaign slogans to live the life that you want. Life is meant to be good!

The Power of Words

Words have power. Words are the way we communicate with others as well as how we communicate with ourselves. Words create the environment that we choose to live in. Words are your greatest tool for building a better life all around.

Did you ever realize how many people not only speak without thinking but think without thinking?  That last statement may sound like a riddle, but it is what actually happens. How does a person think without thinking? Well, my friends that is where the power of words comes into play.

For example, when a person who had lost weight and put a few pounds back on thinks “I can’t believe that I am on another diet. Why do I keep doing this to myself?” That statement created an emotional path steering a person in a negative direction. It is that way of thinking that is more harmful than helpful. Instead, by using words of encouragement they could choose to think “I have lost weight before, and I can do it again.” Do you see how that shift creates a better feeling?  The use of negative or positive words in thoughts, through speech, or even in writing will propel emotions to the place that you direct them to go.

If you are able to allow your thoughts to produce a better feeling, you will notice that things seem to happen more easily and effortlessly. An example of this is when you are driving along and suddenly find yourself stuck in traffic. Stop that old thought of “Great! (sarcasm), now I am stuck in traffic and going to be late.” A better thought would be “I want to arrive on time. Hope this clears up soon.” With this statement, you may be at that same spot for the same amount of time, but the feelings that you are experiencing are better for you regardless of the outcome. Rarely is getting somewhere on time a life-or-death-situation, but the impending feeling of doom can feel like it is that serious because you created that feeling with a negative comment.

It is the feeling that your words give you that make them powerful. Choose to feel good by choosing good words, a simple concept and yet so powerful.

Come visit tomorrow for Stop, Drop & Roll

Welcome Letter

Hello My Friends!

On this special day, also known as Leap Day, I am happy to be able to jump into a new adventure as I launch this website www.Em-PowerYourSelf.com. For this inaugural post, I thought it best to share the purpose and my intent for creating this site.

The purpose for this site is to share a variety of topics through articles with empowering ways to recognize emotions, the power they possess, what they trigger, how to recognize them, and what to do with them.  The messages shared on the Self Talk page will expose you to four areas of your life that are essential for a balanced lifestyle which includes emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual thoughts. Another page of interest is the Motivational Minute page where you can close your eyes and have a little one-on-one with me.

My intent for this site can be further defined by its tagline I am the power in my world. This statement is clear, and yet, something that many have forgotten. It is my intent to share with anybody interested in personal development how to connect to the dynamic power that is available to all of us.  My hope is that my words, stories, thoughts and explanations can help to ignite a power that is always available to everybody.

Please read through the different pages today, and plan to come back tomorrow and read about The Power of Words.

Love, hope, and joy…always!

Karen

 

 

 

The self-empowerment statements and all media communications are solely the opinion of the author and should not be considered as a form of therapy. If expert advice or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.